Dead Palatine ~ 'Bllood'

Piazza delle Copelle

Piazza in Campo Marzio

Santa Maria in Cosmedin

The Palatine

Piazza in Campo Marzio ~ facade

Ripetta

Self Portrait 001

Egon Schiel, Girl - copy

Gustav Klimt, Nachlass - copy

Labyrinth

Ostia, Trees - silhouette

Ostia, Casa di Diana - exterior

Ostia, Trees

Ostia, Street

Ostia, Theatre

Ostia, Tree Canopy

Ostia, Capitolium

Ostia, Casa di Diana - interior

Ostia, Bath House 1

Ostia, Granary

Ostia, Bath House 2

Santa Maria Maggiore, Rome

Santa Maria della Vittoria, Rome

Lutheran Church on Via Toscana, Rome

'Saviour'

*

Keep me inside the dim lit cave

Touch me and hold my soul up to save

I can’t be this man

I’m down with the damned

But I’ll kneel before her in a whisper – and be brave.

Cut my heart out

Dig the flesh out

And tell me why love misbehaves.

*

vultures

'The Deal'

verse 1:

So when, 

you get twisted away,

to try to take me today,

then we'll definitely see...

how you, 

with your love empty fields,

try to do me a deal,

from which i'll just never see...

reprise 1:

how much i'll get in return,

what will eventu'lly earn,

a stake in love that's for real,

a revolutionary deal.

verse 2:

so now,

as I'm going kapow,

but recover somehow,

my godly will to believe...

(that) some day,

making out in the hay,

what were you going to say,

'bout monsieur's Adam and Eve...?

reprise 2:

oh what is happening to me?

in myself i conceive,

i'm lost in reality,

oh come on sell me a seed.

(solo)

reprise 3:

oh what you want me to buy?

you've set the price way to high.

you know i love you for you.

but now the rent's overdue...

(coda)

'. . . intoxicated, by the madness. I'm in love with - my sadness . . .'

(title quote by Billy Corgan - from the lyrics to 'Zero', a track off the 'mellon Collie and the Infinite sadness' album by the Smashing Pumkins)

It would seem that i cannot be entirely honest or directly frank with my sense of humor with anyone anymore - as the last bastion of hope has fallen foul of the everydayness that eventually blinkers most. Was this ever a facility I enjoyed though? I don't know. But the veneer of diplomacy now sits over everything and everyone i interact with... like 'a damp rag on a salad' to quote Tom Robbins. I am infinitely sad about this and am instantly seeking to rectify the situation. I may never though, and may never (as previously insinuated) have even had the situation to rectify - but still! I will try. If i can't be free in the myriad ways that society dictates for me - i at least stand firm in my freedom to express myself. I will not stand down on this. Even if I lose every friend i've got. And they're falling like flies as we speak - but what point the continuation of a life if not to express yourself? Without it, we are but drones eeking out are existence just to perpetuate that which we eek out. An all mighty depressive thought to me that. Nevertheless, I can see the logic that most follow, and can therefore, all to easily, perceive the conception that those 'most' must regard as madness in my [life] method - and yes, perhaps it is the sustainment of my sadness that drives me to my, seemingly inevitable, lonely oblivion... but 'tis oblivion we all face anyway, so onwards Sonni Reign! Onwards...!